Personal Infamy

Miami Corruption Political Discussion Ambulance Chasing Self Indulgence

Rick Scott: Still Bald. Still Crazy. Still Doesn’t Care About Stillborn Indigent Children.

Another day working late at the office, which means it’s time for another anti Rick Scott riff. This one will be quicker than usual, because in the six days since my last rant Rick Scott has only done four or five totally crazy things.

First, an obligatory picture of this monster lunatic:

What an alien lizard he is. I’m pretty sure the free market is responsible for his face. No central planning/intelligent design there.

Let’s do a quick rundown.

Rick Scott’s nominee to run Florida’s Agency for Persons with Disabilities steps down because of allegations that sexual abuse occurred at the group home that he oversaw. RICK SCOTT IS A GREAT JUDGE OF CHARACTER.

Rick Scott kills legislation aimed at Florida Pill Mills. No. Really. He’s that free market.

It has come to my attention that thousands of dollars have been spent on lawyers, travel, meals for board members

Lawyers?! Travel? Meals?! It’s like they’re meeting to draft and then enforce a law! Lawyers should be nowhere near the law! Just the magic free market.

Of course, pill mills keep the disenfranchised ignorant Floridian masses stoned and docile, while simultaneously defrauding health care providers. And we all know Rick Scott loves to defraud medicare! To quote Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, that’s getting two birds stoned at once.

Oh, also, he ran on drug testing welfare recipients, so this must be all part of his plan to kick those lazy bastards off the public dole. How dare they steal … less than $1.4 billion … from the government!

Rick Scott has everybody up in arms. He pissed off the Republican senate budget chief by selling two state planes without approval by the legislature.

He’s confounding an admitted Club for Growth member by greenlighting a massive Volusia county mega development (that the Crist administration rejected). Because all Florida needs is MORE HOMES!

“I just think we’re going to end up with another big empty development on the downside of the largest bubble we’ve ever seen in this country on excess houses,” [Richard Burgess] said. “It’s kind of crazy. And I’m a businessman. I’m a Club for Growth member.”

But look — none of that matters. The facts don’t matter, especially to Floridians. Most of them can barely read the fast food menus from which they order.

What matters is that Rick Scott is hysterical. He is a self parody. He is the Dennis Kucinich of plutocrats. If I didn’t know better, I would think that Stephen Colbert was his policy adviser.

  • 22 February 2011
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